Media reviews

Present Moment
by Kathleen Anderson

For those who are contemplating becoming parents or are already parents, this is a wonderful book. The musings and experiences of Ms. Pullen come through as if you are sitting across the table, having a cup of tea. She stresses several points throughout the book including the importance of choices and teaching respect as well as being respectful of your children. Simple and easy to implement "life teachings" to raise emotionally healthier children. In 2001 and beyond, we are going to need this even more.

Reprinted with Permission from Present Moment

Family Matters!
by Laura Pickford Ramirez

At first glance, you might think that "Life Teachings: Raising a Child" is just another book on parenting, but its an extraordinary little book filled with vision and patient wisdom, exactly the sort of mindset needed to raise a child.

Although author Jeanie Davis Pullen is an educator, consultant and speaker, who has raised two children into accomplished, fulfilled adults, she does not claim to be an expert. Never preachy or didactic, her conversational, down-home style invites you to share her insights so that you might deepen your heartfelt vision for your child.

Ms. Pullen's book is written in short, digestible chapters which invite reflection. Some chapters are just one page long, but contain a single idea or value which can form a cornerstone of your child's foundation. This is an excellent read for the busy parent because chapters can be read in a couple of minutes and the ideas you'll glean from them will create space for moments of reflection.

In addition to its underlying philosophy, the book contains some useful tips. My favorite is a technique that creates a way for your child to get your attention without intrusive interruption. This is helpful when you're on the phone or engaged in adult conversation. The technique allows for your child to be acknowledged immediately (so she won't feel compelled to start acting out) and allows for you to find the appropriate point to turn your attention to your child. This technique alone is well worth the $12.95 purchase price of the book.

From a big perspective, "Life Teachings: Raising a Child" illustrates how the author and her husband raised their children by living the values they wanted them to espouse. Ms. Pullen shares how she created a home that was respectful of children and created an emotional/intellectual space that valued life and relationships and encouraged self-discovery and mutual respect. As you read this book, you'll think more deeply about how to help your child become a happy and humane adult. In the final analysis, that's what parenting is all about.

Reprinted with Permission from Family Matters!

The Gleaner
Summer Reading
by Glenda Langley

Mrs. Pullen is an educator as well as a parent and a wonderful storyteller. Each chapter of her book is a story about an everyday experience in the life of her children that she and her husband consciously turned into life lessons. She has beautifully illustrated how it takes more than deliberate planning to instill in children the value and beliefs you want them to have as adults. We have to be ever mindful, clever, consistent and innovative in guiding our children.

I found her stories comforting and assuring. They can serve to provide guidance to parents, anyone who works with children and any individual who may want to assess their perspective on life. The book underscores the value of logical reasoning, respect, appreciation, responsibility, awareness, creativity and honesty --things all individuals need to be able to function and be productive in live.

Reprinted with Permission from The Gleaner

Messenger
Northeast Metro 916
by Natalie Walters Seum

... As a frequent public speaker, the idea to write the book was a result of the response from her audience. "People were telling me-especially when I spoke of parenting-that the things I was saying were powerful and asked if I had any of it written down," said Pullen.

It was this reassurance that inspired Pullen to broaden the audience and put her message in print. For 30 years she had the concepts in her head and heart. Only when she had time between teaching and raising her children did she decide to put it on paper-in the same voice that could easily be heard on a front porch in any town. In Kentucky, where Pullen was raised, the front porch was an outlet for ideas and issues-many things were settled with easy conversations. This is the style in which this book was written and it provides an easy-to-read glimpse into what child rearing should be like.

"Before my first daughter Lara was born, we thought about how we wanted that person to be when she grew up then her environment was aimed at that goal," Pullen said. As a way to achieve this, the book describes how she and her husband made decisions and actions deliberate and meaningful messages to their two girls. This was an effort to "shape the traits and skills that we wanted our daughters to possess by the time they were young adults." She describes throughout the book how conscious decisions allow parents to pass on the tools that their children will need to succeed in life and have respect for themselves and others.

Neither stale nor clinical, the book is succinct and powerful. There are no lists or directions. The second read though brings even more meaning, allowing room for interpretation and application into other relationships. The book begins with an introduction to the authors guiding philosophy of conscious choice parenting. It continues with three to four page chapters that offer short stories explaining how the philosophy was used in every day life. The 35 chapters include ones such as, "I prepared for my life as a parent," "Young children believe what parents say to them," "Events and situations are framed though a lens," and "The children bought gifts they could afford." When the introduction and the subsequent pages are woven together, the result is a compilation of thought-provoking, highly inspirational messages that guided the author in raising two very successful, well-educated daughters.

Reprinted with Permission from Northeast Metro 916

Ivanhoe.com
Medical Breakthroughs

This is a straight-from-the-heart-and-mind approach to child rearing -- not at all academic or pedantic, and it's the kind of "front-porch wisdom" that has served the author well in her own teaching and parenting as well as those she has touched through a career as a teacher in high school and beyond. There are no footnotes, no bibliography and no glossary representing formulas or disciplines. It is a soft book, both in appearance and content, and a good one.

In a word, author Pullen's style of parenting isn't the least bit mechanical, nor is it as impersonal as our age of typical communicating, relating and -- yes -- teaching have become. Instead, "Life Teachings: Raising a Child" acknowledges and honors the soul of parenting, and it does so simply and with grace. It is "...a collection of family stories that illustrate how we shaped the traits and skills that we wanted our daughters to possess by the time they were young adults."

Ms. Pullen presents a highly readable fabric of teaching/learning examples that are quilt-like -- small patches of practical wisdom in mini-chapters of three or four pages, longer than mere anecdotes but beautifully woven components of a whole work. A sampler of the 35 chapters might include (1) I prepared for my life as a parent, (2) I realized that respect was a huge over-arching theme, (5) Young children believe what parents say to them, (17) Not being able to afford something can be a luxury, (27) In life, there are times when someone just needs to act -- just do it, (33) Parents have aspects to their lives other than parenthood, and (35) Wishes carry more than the obvious.

The specifics of "Life Teachings: Raising a Child" are best left to the author herself, but as a reviewer it seems to me that this little book of just over 100 pages offers many useful suggestions and examples of child rearing and parenting that ring of love applied. An absence of lists and to-dos and not to-dos gives the book a fluidity resembling the kind of conversation one might have with a close friend or neighbor. Yet, it's definitely more than sandbox wisdom or everything-I-learned-someplace packaging. It's more mature stylistically. Yet, it's still light and very readable.

Who would get the most from this book? I would think parents of young children and especially parents-to-be, because it offers a very important perspective derived from the author's own life learning and the learnings of earlier generations that she has inherited and which have enfolded her. Yet, much of this book's practicality derives from observations of how the next generation has embodied these same life teachings, especially as Ms. Pullen has observed them coming into the experinces of her own children and others.

In explaining how the life teachings she presents combine into a kind of template -- the closest this book comes to suggesting there is a formula or set of rules to follow -- the author speaks of the need for parents to develop an approach to parenting that is purposeful and conscious, stating that the threads woven through the stories she tells, combined with the reader's own experiences, can form such a template. "This book suggests that if you form the game plan first, the carrying out is more purposeful and more likely to occur."

I like this book. I plan to add it to our womens center's list of recommended reading.

Reviewed by Alice T. MacMahon, RN, MPH
Director, Florida Hospital Womens Center
Orlando, Florida

Reprinted with Permission from www.ivanhoe.com

The Viking News
Greetings from the Principal

Last month, a friend sent me a book that she recently wrote and published. It is entitled, Life Teachings: Raising a Child by Jeanie Davis Pullen. As I held her autographed copy in my hand, I celebrated her literary success. At the same time, it reminded me of a wish that many of us claim, "Someday, I am going to write a book."

As I read her book, I could almost hear her warm, Kentucky southern voice through her stories about parenting. After I finished my reading, I held the book again respectfully in hand. Beyond my admiration for her as an author, I remembered that I respected her as an example of a great parent. It helped me to refocus on a wish even more important than wanting to write a book. It is a wish all parents hold, "I want to be the best parent I can be."

If you talk to her or listen to her speak, it is apparent that she is a fine parent because she remembers how it feels to be a child and a young person. In her writing about her days of early parenting, she shares how she prepared to be a parent and formed the basic foundation she always held in guiding her childraisng. She was purposeful and conscious about her interaction with her children. As role models, she reminded me how our children "watch us and take in our messages."

As a parent she is always gentle with herself and never holds the tone of an expert. She affirms the fact that as adults, we grow along with our children. She reminds her readers that we are always making choices as we are a part of shaping young people's lives. She provides a great human template to make these choices such as "family rules seemed necessary, reasonable, fair and useful for adult life" or "not being able to afford something can be a luxury."

In her book, Jeanie Davis Pullen concludes, "There is hardly a more fascinating project than parenthood. You are responsible for not only physically creating the baby, but for creating the early foundation that the child will use to form the adult.

You will make your impression upon your child whether you have specific intentions or not. You'll do this by role modeling, by where you give attention, by the words you use, and by the aspect of life you value. Your child will constantly observe you and learn from you, just as you did with your parents. You'll make choices of how you impress your child whether you have intentions or not. By being thoughtful ahead of time, you will make purposeful choices in how you raise your child.

Then from adulthood to the end of our lives, we are responsible for all adjustments, enhancements, and changes that are made on the foundation. By being respectful and observant of ourselves and making conscious choices, we move forward in wise growth."

Greetings by Lynda Van Driel
Principal, Northdale Middle School
Coon Rapids, Minnesota

Reprinted with permission from the author

Inspired Parenting
by Anna Stewart

Sometimes reading about other parents can be depressing. Sometimes it can be inspiring. And sometimes, like in Life Teachings, it's a little of both.

At first glance, Pullen comes off as unbelievable- she's too nice, too compassionate, and way to patient to be real. She and her husband sound like the perfect parents with two perfectly talented and gifted daughters. They're the kind of family the rest of us swore we would be--that is until the kids were actually born.

Even though Pullen is the kind of parent you love to hate, you can't. She really is kind and sensitive and caring. She also has some great ideas of how to parent in ways that honors children. She begins by sharing the list of qualities she wanted her daughters to posses by the time they were young adults. Her nineteen qualities include being able to thank people, have a sense of wonderment, communicate well, be confident, and have no guilt. She valued independence, making the qualities a template and not a rule.

Pullen's approach is child-centered and not everyone will agree with the control and responsibility she gave her daughters. One unusual thing she did was to make an agreement with each child to maintain a united front in public. "She and I would never knowingly embarrass each other or other family members through words or tones or eye rolling when we were among other people." It's a good thing her daughters were easy-going. I wonder how these teaching would have changed with a more challenging child.

Each quality is explained with examples from her own life in short conversational chapters. Pullen emphasizes a whole-person lifestyle. She encouraged her girls to use their minds and imaginations. She taught them to empathize and be kind to others, to value things that don't cost money, to be good problem solvers, and to honor logic, reasoning, and opportunities. Both her daughters, now in their 20s, are highly successful professionals and happy adults.

If parents think of Life Teachings as an idea book rather than a guidebook, they can glean the gems that work for their family and their values. Here's one example, "By understanding and practicing empathy, our family quickly realized that there usually was more to learn about people and situations. Probably here is more to something or someone than meets the eye," writes Pullen. Her family uses geodes, which look like plain rocks but reveal an inner beauty, as a symbol of this concept.

As a high school and university teacher, Pullen specializes in gifted education. Through her work teaching, speaking and writing, she strives to impart her belief that we all have the ability to make positive choices for our children and ourselves. Life Teachings is one mother's journey but her approach, her wisdom, and her compassion make this a book we can all afford to read.

Reprinted with permission from Inspired Parenting.

Buy Life Teachings: Raising a Child from Amazon.com. $12.95. Paperback, 112 pages.

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